Since the childhood, I was carried out by my parent's value. I remember my first time. I was three or four and was going to the violin tuition every week. I did not practice the violin unless my mother tells me to practice. that week, I was not practiced and was the time to go to the class. I had no doubt but going to the lesson and my mother suggested that it might be okay to skip the class. It was my first time I every skipped the class in my life. And it taught me that it's okay to skip the class. It became my value and I had been skipping many classes since. But I cannot blame on naive young mindset. I could be strong to insist of going to the lesson even without any practices. With practice or no practice, it was me and I did not need to hind from anything.
So my value was hidden by the outside force because of the lack of self esteem. With or without the lesson, it was still me and was worth to